Wednesday, November 24, 2010

tugboats & toy ducks

I made a vow to myself (and to whoever follows me on twitter) that I wouldn't complain for this entire week. I said I wouldn't complain about the heat, the food, the transportation, anything. Let me just be honest with you, I've complained a lot, just not on the interwebs. ;)

what? sue me. 

I'll give you a heads up. This post isn't me complaining...but I am going to be real with you. Hopefully, you will leave this page today encouraged. My hope is that you will maybe gain some hope that you aren't the only one struggling. My hope is also that you will leave with some peace in your soul.


Being over here has brought a lot of sins to the surface that I was pretty good at hiding. It also has brought a lot of sins to the surface that I didn't even realize I was struggling with. It's become an explosive combination. 

I keep finding myself being, not just a tiny bit, but completely overcome with..


It's not pretty, y'all. 

It's all just eating me up. I've been wondering why, all of a sudden, I can't shake these evil evil things. I pray against it (briefly), and notice it in myself, but I still find myself cussing in my head at the boat crew who made us late to class, or at the foreign workers who stare at me constantly.

On our way back to our island after class on Monday evening, I saw a tugboat...and it hit me. This is exactly what I'm doing. Sometimes tugboats are pulling their big ol' cargo ship. The one I saw was towing a flat barge of railroad cars/cargo boxes. 

(Kind of like this)

It simply reminded me of how much I choose to many burdens and sins I continually put on every day.  Instead of choosing joy and daily laying my burdens down at our Father's feet, I load it up on the barge and tug it around. 

I forget to seek forgiveness. I don't think to fight my sin with the Word.

Instead, I choose to haul it around like a kid with one of those yappy duck pull toys. 

But y'all, our King is FOR us and He wants to take our burdens. 
His yoke is easy and His burden is light (matthew 11:30). 
So why do we continually wallow in our sin and keep it for ourselves? 

We can't fight bitterness, jealousy, fear, etc on our own. We just can't! 

And the best news? He is a God of forgiveness. So ask for it & feel that burden lifted. Today, I encourage you to taste forgiveness & feast on redemption*

Blessed are those whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. (romans 4:7)

The bottom line is this: We will fall short. But we don't have to walk around with that guilt & shame. We are redeemed. And that sin? That sin is gone. forgotten. forgiven. 

No need to tug it around anymore. 


*tasting forgiveness by robbie seay band is a must-listen. (on his miracle album, which is a must-buy)


  1. girl, i needed this reminder. thanks for sharing!
    i know this probably wasn't a fun process (never is!), but i also love your honesty, friend. its an encouragement to so many of us.

    love ya!

  2. What a beautiful and open post! Thanks for sharing! It's nice to find another Christian blog online.


  3. Well said. A sinful thought life can be so easy to hide and even deny. Thanks for the courage to be so honest. It's so easy to forget that God is for us--His glory and our joy. AND I LOVE Robbie Seay Band! Great post!

  4. thanks for sharing, kim! something we can all identify with for sure!
    praying for a good finish to your time overseas & for the eyes of Christ this week!

  5. I wish I could complain about the *heat*, lol! Luvs how you put your burdens into words... or rather, the picture :)

    Great post, and thank you for the sweet comment on my blog. Very nice to meet you!

  6. Such a lovely post!

  7. love these kind of posts from you, so refreshing. i realized the other day that i rarely ask for forgiveness, even though i struggle with most of those same sins (and more) on a daily basis. thanks for the reminder that there is no way they're going away if i don't lay them down before him.

    p.s. i respect you a whole heck of a lot for being so open/vulnerable.

  8. Oh man, such true words. Thankful for His grace this week. Thank you for pointing me in the right direction first thing this morning. When I lived in Spain and Mexico, I think I did a lot of that burden carrying alone (by my own dumb choice) and as a result, they were very painful times.

    Savor your last few days there!

  9. Wow. I found your blog today through Gussy's blog, and I've got to tell you that God has really spoken to me through you. It's so true that we CAN'T fight our secret struggles on our own! But we have such an incredible God that forgives us and wants us to live a life of freedom! Sometimes its just so hard for me to break free of fear, truly trusting that God is in control.

  10. I know the feeling - thank you for reminding us all to stop and look back to the God who saved us and keeps us constantly in His hands!

  11. Hey girl. . .great post on keeping it real. . . .Life is hard, and a majority of the battle is in our mind, which we can keep hidden from the rest of the world. . a preacher friend of mine gave me some advice about defeating a habitual sin. . everytime you commit that sin, immediately. .reprent/seek forgiveness. . and start again. . if you do that everytime you find yourself committing the same sin, tomorrow you will find that it will happen at least one less time than yesterday. .and each day it will happen a little less. . .not a quick cure. . but a slow steady one. . I don't have this sin thing all figured out, but this little bit of advice has helped :). .love you girl and hug the husby (?) for us!

  12. Thank you for your honesty. I believe that this special blogging community is here to support one another, through hard times and wonderfulness. Give God your "stuff". My advice, really try to stick to quiet time in the morning. This way you'll be prepared to deal with the day. Hugs!

  13. Thank you for posting this. I don't know how you manage to do it, but you always seem to post what I need to hear, right when I need to hear it.

  14. awesome post, so true.


  15. wow, i love this post girl!! i definitely thing we all need reminders like this once in awhile!! there's only a few more days til you come back, wanted to wish you a safe travels back here!!

    and happy thanksgiving!! hope you are able to eat some turkey over there!!

  16. wow. this is beautiful because it is real and genuine. I love how you shared what is really going on. we need to do that every once in awhile. you rock! Thanks for the encouragement! And I am glad that even though it seems tough at times that you are choosing to see the good in the midst of what we see as bad. :)

  17. I was going from blog to blog and I do not know how I got here.......maybe it was your blog name.......any way.......this post blessed my heart. Lots and lots of wisdom here.........thank was refreshing to hear this from a young lady..........thank you for being bold. We need to speak up and you did so sweetly. I was blessed! Thank you!
    Prairie Flower Farm
    Oh and I love your blog praying that the Lord will use you mightily!


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