Wednesday, May 4, 2011

taking a break. ((where I spill my guts))



Hello, my name is Kim and I'm a work-a-holic. Never ever did I think that would be me, because, well...I like to sleep in. and take naps. and watch Friday Night Lights for hours at a time. I'm easily distracted & get bored easily. I'll be in the middle of sewing a bag and then all of a sudden I'm out the door going for a run. Oops.

BUT...I'm tired. 


I got a job at Anthropologie because running this handmade biz wasn't as fulfilling as I thought it was going to be. As fun, encouraging, & sweet as y'all are, I was tired of "internet" friends and missed REAL personal interaction with people. 


We came to Boulder to love on the people here and start a church, not for me to lock myself in my studio for 40+ hours a week to become a hermit and chat with handmade business owners on twitter. 

I also lost inspiration and desire to make things. Making new designs was becoming a chore and not just an outpour of creativity like it used to be. 

I got a job at Anthropologie because I needed to get out of the house. Be around people. Love people. Help women feel pretty. Be inspired. Work hard... 

& mostly because I made my handmade business an idol, and although God was using it for good ((love146, people getting pretty things in the mail, loving people with "extras" in their orders, etc)), my heart was getting yucky & yuckier. 

-I compared myself to others too much.
 -I checked the front page of Big Cartel daily to make sure I was in one of the top 10 spots. 
-I was too competitive and thought very low of others who had "less successful" shops...and even some with "very successful" shops that were full of pride ((which i soon found i was guilty of)).
-I neglected friendships.
-I didn't take care of myself.
-I was tired of being on the computer.
-I never made time for myself
-I felt important when I was too busy for people
-I stretched myself TOO thin (like a thin crust pizza...who even likes those?)
-I found my identity in something it was never mean to be identified with.
-My "self-worth" was wrapped up in sales and my paypal  balance.


The Lord has put on my heart to take a break. To just stop and rest. To be still. To sit at His feet. I'm at the end of my spool of thread, so to speak, and I can't do this on my own anymore...I was never meant to in the first place. For me to ignore that would be disobedient and just plain stupid. The moment I'm not willing to hand my business over to Him is the moment I need to give it up.


So...with that said. I'm taking a break. Right now, the goal is just a couple of weeks...
A couple of weeks of:
restoration
seeking the face of my Savior
finding the direction this business is supposed to go
submitting my business to the Lord
rest
sewing and creating for ME 
making things for friends
time with family
investing in relationships
two trips to Texas
a trip to Florida with my in-laws
concerts
date nights not distracted by twitter & customer emails & orders

Get your orders in while you can, as I'll shut it down on Friday before we leave for Texas. All outstanding orders will be sent out by this Friday. I'm hoping to be "back" the first week of June with some new designs and a feeling of restoration. I'll still blog in the meantime and be open to a *very limited amount* of custom orders. 


Thanks for your understanding :)


But first be concerned about God's kingdom and His righteousness, and all of these things will be provided for you as well. ((matthew 6:33))




love. 

55 comments:

  1. Enjoy your break! I'll be praying that God speaks to you in a very clear way during this time and that He'll bring the renewal that only He can! Blessings to you!

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  2. Love you- love this. Rest is so important that God even commands it for us.. but it takes a lot of courage to actually do it! Proud of you! :)

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  3. Oh I hope you get some much needed rest and peace of mind! I recently had to take a break as well from blogging and the shop. I am simply exhausted and a work-a-holic. Sometimes we need to take breaks to get back on track! Good luck!

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  4. Good for you!! Hope you enjoy your time off!!

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  5. Good for you for recognizing this and for being so honest with yourself and God.

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  6. Love it, you don't even realize what an example you are, so thankful you don't hold back on sharing your heart and spirit with us!

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  7. God knows that we need to rest... it's so important for our growth in Him! i hope you have a peaceful & renewing break!! i am about to take a week & a half off too for a vacation, it will be much needed!! :)

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  8. Girlie, take your time :) God needs to be in the first place in your life - you put him first and all sorts will fall into place :)

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  9. It's good to take some time off!

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  10. Enjoy your time off!! Rest in the Lord! Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart--Psalm 37:4

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  11. I applaud your move to take a break. Ive done that in the past and need to keep it as an option ANY time Im living online too much(I quit Facebook last summer because it was an addiction...literally for me). People told me I was nuts b/c it would hurt my business. But its been a huge blessing in my life and Im glad I was obedient to do it.
    Go and be refreshed. You'll be more free to let the creative juices flow anyways if you're refreshed and recharged and doing it for the right reasons.
    Im writing all this with the thought in my head: I wish I could create for MYSELF too.ahhhhhhhh
    xo,
    Sarah

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  12. i hope that this spring is restorative, encouraging and everything you need. May God bless you with stronger relationships with (non-internet) friends and your husband.

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  13. be refreshed, friend! you inspired me to think about doing something like this for part of the summer. love you, girl. :)

    ((you deserve it and more. hehe.))

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  14. being at the feet of Jesus is very important...I'm glad your following God in this. Can't wait to hear about your trips!

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  15. enjoy this time of rest and reflection. when your well runs dry, Jesus is the only one who can fill it up again. i look forward to seeing you refreshed in the next couple of weeks!

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  16. wow a job at anthro... how cool! i hope you find some good time for restoration :)

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  17. Good for you Kim!! I'm sure it was hard for you to do, but enjoy your time off :) you definitely deserve some "me time" :)

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  18. Thank you for being so honest about this. I don't even have a business yet and sometimes I feel like, I wish I could something like such and such or I wish I could sew like so and so. Yuck! Not what God wants from me at all! Thank you for your honesty, enjoy your break!

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  19. Thanks for sharing your heart, Kim. I hope the REST and chance to sit at Jesus' feet renews you. Praying you'll be blessed during this time!

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  20. it takes a strong person to come to terms with something like that. praying for you to have a wonderful rest and renewed spirit during your time away. have wonderful trips, and dates with your hubby. (also, got my headbands in the mail today. love them!)

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  21. I know just how you feel and I am proud of you! Proud for answering His call on your life. Proud of you for not ignoring signals. Proud of ou for seeing the ugly side of running your business and soo soo much more! Love. xo
    PS - if you don't call while in Texas I'll be so sad. Would love to have coffee with you! Pearl Cup baby! xo

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  22. While I do love a thin crust pizza, there's nothing good about feeling stretched that way. Enjoy some time away-hope you come back feeling stronger and more joyful.

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  23. Good for you, and good for your honestly. It's SO much better to not get burned out, but I pray you come back refreshed & with a new level of creativity and just ready to blow us all away. I hope you have an AMAZING break.

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  24. oh, kim, i hear you so much. and i'm glad that you're going to take this break for you, for God, for your family, etc. and if june isn't long enough, don't feel pressured to come back yet. so pray, take some deep breaths and really enjoy this time reflecting on the important things. big hugs. and prayers.

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  25. it takes a lot of strength to be as honest as you're being and turn it all over to the LORD. sounds like you're doing the right thing!

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  26. I'm with you on the thin crust pizza, and of course on this post as a whole. I hope you find the peace and refreshment you're looking for!

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  27. Enjoy your break! I hope things return to all about you and what is best for you and your life. The "blog" world can be addicting and consume your life, so I totally understand. There are nights my husband asks whats for dinner and I have lost track of time and search for quick instant meals in the kitchen. Most important I'm not paying him attention. Love your post and inspiration you've actually given to me. ;)

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  28. I love you Kim, and love that you are doing this!!! It takes great strength to admit all those things and to give it all to God and seek Him first. I pray those two weeks are refreshing and comforting and full of Praise. Enjoy it. It is very freeing to not constantly be glued to Twitter/phone/email. You WILL be missed though. <333

    ps- where in FL are you headed too!?!?!

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  29. Thanks for sharing this awesome post! Some huge things to think about - and I have for the last few hours.

    It instantly made me think, "Where am I on Big Cartel?" Certainly not something I ever thought to check. Well for starters, I was not even in the best fit category for my products. Sheesh!

    Now I must just promise not to check it constantly as you have warned.
    Katie

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  30. im emotional today and this just made me cry. just love your honesty. you have been such a beauty and inspiration to me as a newbie...i adore you sweet friend :)

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  31. I'm praying that the Lord gives you the wisdom you need to continue to walk in his path <3

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  32. Kim, enjoy your break!! I hope that it restores your creative juices and gives you time to spend with friend, family and the LORD. Have a wonderful break my dear!! xoxo

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  33. enjoy your break sweetie!! and i commend you dearly for taking a break! you need it, especially with your new job!! it is so easy for us to get wrapped up in our online shops and blogs that we all to often ignore real life interactions with friends. i have many times gotten to the point where i felt burnt out and taking a break is a GREAT way to restore and rebalance! i'm glad you're still blogging though and we always have texting!! :)

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  34. So so proud of you! It's good to get refreshed and out in real life! :) Where in Florida are ya'll visiting? Message me because if you're close, I'd love to get together for dinner or even coffee! :)

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  35. I applaud you for doing such a brave thing! We all need a break. I am in need of a break and you wrote so many things that resonate with my heart and where I am at. But first, I have 2 kids, 5th grade and 2nd grade and school needs to be finished. I also work at the school about 15-20 hours a week!!! Plus sew.... Plus clean houses.... Plus try to clean my own house. We have wonderful summer plans and I am looking forward to the shop slowing down.

    Enjoy your break and enjoy your new job.... love that store!

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  36. This was so great to read as someone who is just starting this whole thing. Rest can never be bad especially if it's to see first His kingdom. Enjoy!

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  37. Beautifully refreshing and honest post. I have no doubt God will bless your heart and your desires. He wants nothing more than a relationship with you and goals that align with His will. I hope you have an amazing break and feel renewed. Thank you for this post. It is so encouraging to read about your strong faith and real struggles that many of us have or will face. Blessings to you!

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  38. what a testament you are to creators. reminding us that when satisfaction in our creating becomes greater than our own Creator we must stop and re-focus. thank you!!

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  39. It takes so much courage to admit something like that and I applaud you for it. There's something else that you were meant to do, obviously, and I hope that these next few weeks of meditation give you some clarity and inspiration.

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  40. wowzers Kim, you are amazing. Seriously, I see one of these in the future for me. You are inspiring Kim, hope you find some time for yourself, and get restored spiritually. XO

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  41. Rest well and praying for you as you seek God and His face. He is our portion.

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  42. The Creator created Sabbath Rest and Jubilee for a reason! I pray you have an awesome time of restoration, and that God leads you back in His time, and for His purpose. Try to have a little fun on your break, too :)

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  43. I think it's wonderful that you are following God's direction in this and I'm sure the rest will be good for you. Have fun, seek Him and I know that you will feel so restored afterward.

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  44. Thanks for your honesty, Kim. I really needed to hear that. I tend to retreat (in the negative sense, not the refresh sense) as a default and I'm having to learn better ways to make those tangible connections. Enjoy this season! I pray that you'll be able to bring that clarity with you as you "come back" from your break.

    Oh! And enjoy your time in Florida! We really do have a great state. :D

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  45. Thank you for sharing your heart. How easy it is for us to get all wrapped up and taken somewhere we never planned to be! I think many of us have been there. Your honesty is an incredible testimony. Enjoy your rest, take the time you need. Refresh and balance...following His lead will be a blessing to you.

    And...when are you going to be in Texas?! Anywhere near my location?

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  46. God just used you and this post to speak to me. Thank you.

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  47. I am fully supportive of your choices.. at times, we must all reflect and take our own journeys. xo hugs

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  48. Hope you are enjoying your break! Two trips to Texas means it will be good ;)

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  49. Aw! Get some rest and I hope you get your feet under you again. It's really brave to admit this... and I wish you well <3

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  50. you don't know me. i don't own your stuff.

    but...

    you're making a beautiful choice.

    rest up dear.

    be blessed.

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  51. i hope your break is as refreshing as all get out and you come back with a fire for just creating and being the best "you" there is!! and, oh my goodness, working at anthro seems like heaven to me. i can't even tell you how i would love to be in that store every. day. of. my. life!

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  52. I loved this!! I've started to head that way a few times... It's never good. Thanks for being so honest.

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