Wednesday, August 3, 2011

worth. life abundant.

On one of my recent runs, John 10:10 kept coming to mind. In case you didn't learn this verse in AWANAS, it's as follows:

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly


Destruction. Life abundant. Not a difficult choice to decide which one you want, right?

Apparently, not for me.

While I was running, I was praying for the Lord to reveal to me how I let "the thief" ((aka Satan)) take, kill, and destroy. Often times, a lot of it comes down to my self-perception. How I view myself and where I find my worth is a way that I feel like I allow ((welcome, enable, let)) Satan destroy me and take my joy. 

I'm about to be real honest here and let you see the icky in my heart. Here are some stupid things I constantly have to battle putting my worth in:

How busy I am.
How many people ask to hang out or go to lunch during the week.
Promotions I am offered at work.
The number of blogs I post a week.
The content of those blogs posts.
The amount of comments that follow those posts.
My paypal balance.
Not having kids when "everyone" around me seems to.
Not feeling like I fit in because I don't have a baby to hold. 
How clean my house is.
What a disaster my kitchen is.
How quickly ((or slowly)) things I make sell.
The mileage I can go on a run.
The calories I burn on said run.
What I eat.
The amount of produce/healthy things in our house. 
The meals I cook for Chase.
The clothes I buy & wear.
What size my skinny jeans are.
The designs I create & sell.
How chic & "store-bought" I can make a handmade garment look.
How many followers/fans/subscribers I have.

Getting accepted into a "cool" handmade market/craft show.
How much money I make at said handmade market/craft show.
Where I work.
How people at work treat me.
What I can afford.
What I can't afford.
How many people support us. 

Satan encourages me to find my worth in these things. If I'm honest with myself, I often fall into those temptations and lies and it paralyzes me. 
Cripples me. 
Takes away my abundant life that the Lord intended for me.
When I do put my worth in these trivial matters, I can do one of two things, depending on my mood: 
1. Pump myself up with arrogance thinking I'm better than everyone else. Sin.
2. See where I fall short and think that I suck as a wife, business owner, friend, blogger, employee, person. Lies.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. ((psalm 139:14))

I will instead fight daily to find my worth in the following:

My unwavering faith in Christ.
My unstaggering devotion to my husband, so that our marriage would be an example of Christ's love to the world. 
My consistent pursuit of living out the Gospel, so that the Lord might use me to win the hearts of the people in Boulder.
My unyielding love of Jesus. ((The Jesus that pursues me, forgives me, loves me, paid for my sins, and fights for my devotion))
His will for my life. EVERY aspect of my life, not just the parts I'm "willing" to hand over.

Friends, don't let your worth come from silly, worldly, trivial things. It will only lead you down a path of destruction and a lack of contentment. Who wants that?

Today, I choose joy. Today, I choose life abundant.



Who's with me?

love.

35 comments:

  1. Thank you so much for this post and Being so honest and open , Its so great when we can share our struggles and weaknesses with other believers . I loved this and pray its something that sinks into my heart : ) God bless Chloe

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  2. I love this and I really needed to hear this today. Thanks for sharing your heart. It's so easy to get caught up in the things that don't matter...and forget about the ones that really do.

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  3. I am with you.
    Our Pastor just spoke about this on Sunday night and pointed out that a lot of people go into ministry so other people can tell them what a great job they are doing.
    Really one of those messages that made me stop and look at myself.
    I love your honesty.

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  4. I love running and always find myself having similar conversations with the Lord...identity always seems to come up. thanks for sharing your heart on this...I think I can agree with you many of those areas where you still want to place your value!

    Have a great day! Oh and I love what you guys are doing in Colorado! how exciting!!

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  5. SO with you! Love this and love your honesty sweet friend. It is so easy to get wrapped up in what the world says is achievement, success, affirmation etc. We have to CHOOSE to find our joy and contentment in Him. I'm choosing right along with you today! Thanks for this.

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  6. Completely agree, and struggle with most of the things you mentioned on often a daily basis. Not fun. Leads to nothing by depression and envy. Thanks for this candid reminder today. I hope your Wednesday was a good one!

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  7. I love this! I think a lot of business owners (and women in general) struggle with the very things you're struggling with. Thank you for the reminder today!!

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  8. This was so refreshing to read! Thank you for being so honest. It was great as I read through your list of things I was like, "oh someone else struggles with that too, I thought I was the only one!" I think the world/society screams for our identity, worth, and life in general to be found in seeking after everything in this life that is temporary and holds no true satisfaction. "Godliness with contentment is great gain." -1Timothy 6:6. Thank you for sharing your heart, it encouraged me.

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  9. This is just so good. I think so many of us can relate to most, (if not even all) of these on some level. Thanks for your honesty this morning. It really glorifies Christ and it's beautiful!

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  10. Lovely post!!! Such a beautiful verse. I've been meaning to write another devotional for my blog, and this post inspired me again (not on the same thing, of course!) I just found your blog and I want to say: can we be friends?! Lol! Love the blogosphere!

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  11. Great to read this morning and such a blessing. Thank you for your honesty in this Blog Post. I have to remind myself the same thing when I feel I don't fit in because I'm not married. Your post was a great reminder of what we should truly focus on.

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  12. Thank you so much for sharing this, Kim! I'm sure it wasn't easy. I find myself struggling with a lot of the same things. For me, I feel like this blog world can be so encouraging, but yet at the same time dangerous. I actually was getting all set to do a wiww post today, but was left feeling so consumed with me, and I don't like that. I heard "In My Own Little World" by Matthew West this morning, and it really convicted me to think about what I'm really living for.

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  13. I love you bestie! I can't wait for our fun day tomorrow.

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  14. I'm with you :) I stumbled upon your blog from Funky Vintage Lovely a few months ago, and have been reading your blog ever since. I love today's post. I was thinking the same thing just the other day, and I struggle with similar issues. Praying for you to continue to fight the good fight every day.

    God Bless.

    p.s. Noticed Sseko is one of your sponsors. Liz is my sorority sister. She is amazing as is Sseko :)

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  15. I am SOOO with you and be in that place of getting my worth from my own strength on a moment to moment basis. I am reading an excellent book based on the messages from Watchman Nee - Chinese missionary. It's call the God of Abraham,Isaac, and Jacob. So good.

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  16. I love this post. Thanks so much for sharing. It's so easy to get that abundant life "out of sight" in our busy day-to-day lives!

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  17. I am with you, Kim! It still blows my mind how the devil can turn virtues into vices. Blogging is virtuous when we display our talents & praise the Lord but it becomes a vice when we put so much stock in the numbers. I think every blogger/store owner can relate to how you're feeling. I will be praying for you!

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  18. all i can really say is...
    beautiful post.

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  19. thank you so very much for this post, friend. it means a lot right now... :)
    and i <3 you, just so you know!

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  20. Well said. It is amazing how quickly a God honoring objective - serving your husband, desiring to be a mom can turn into sin when it is twisted in our hearts.

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  21. Amen! Thank you for sharing this, I completely relate and so needed to read this! Love your blog :)
    Xoxoxo,
    megan

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  22. that was amazing!! you are so amazing to pour your heart out like that! we all do those things and try to find joy in them. I am so thankful that we don't have to. that we don't have to find our value in anything other than Christ. Thanks for that reminder!

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  23. so, so good. I'm pinning that verse and tweeting this post. love it!

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  24. Thanks for sharing your heart with us...it's a privilege to read these words that we all struggle with if we're truly honest.

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  25. I love reading you blog! It always helps kick my day off on a positive note, reminding me what is truly important!

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  26. this is totally my fave post you've ever written. it's stuck with me all week, friend. thanks. :)

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  27. Your list could probably sum up 92% of what Christian women rattle around in our heads every day :)

    "Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world." 1 Peter 5:9

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  28. I just wanted to say thank you for sharing this - I just saw this post today and it is something that I have been very much struggling with too. Thank you for pointing me back to my Lord and Savior who gives me all the value and worth I need! I will be praying for you, friend!

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  29. so well said.
    choose joy... choose life abundant

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  30. Kim, this is amazing. Thank you for posting!

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  31. What a wonderful and helpful post! Thank you!

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