On one of my recent runs, John 10:10 kept coming to mind. In case you didn't learn this verse in AWANAS, it's as follows:
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.
Destruction. Life abundant. Not a difficult choice to decide which one you want, right?
Apparently, not for me.
While I was running, I was praying for the Lord to reveal to me how I let "the thief" ((aka Satan)) take, kill, and destroy. Often times, a lot of it comes down to my self-perception. How I view myself and where I find my worth is a way that I feel like I allow ((welcome, enable, let)) Satan destroy me and take my joy.
I'm about to be real honest here and let you see the icky in my heart. Here are some stupid things I constantly have to battle putting my worth in:
How busy I am.
How many people ask to hang out or go to lunch during the week.
Promotions I am offered at work.
The number of blogs I post a week.
The content of those blogs posts.
The amount of comments that follow those posts.
My paypal balance.
Not having kids when "everyone" around me seems to.
Not feeling like I fit in because I don't have a baby to hold.
How clean my house is.
What a disaster my kitchen is.
How quickly ((or slowly)) things I make sell.
The mileage I can go on a run.
The calories I burn on said run.
What I eat.
The amount of produce/healthy things in our house.
The meals I cook for Chase.
The clothes I buy & wear.
What size my skinny jeans are.
The designs I create & sell.
How chic & "store-bought" I can make a handmade garment look.
How many followers/fans/subscribers I have.
Getting accepted into a "cool" handmade market/craft show.
How much money I make at said handmade market/craft show.
Where I work.
How people at work treat me.
What I can afford.
What I can't afford.
How many people support us.
Satan encourages me to find my worth in these things. If I'm honest with myself, I often fall into those temptations and lies and it paralyzes me.
Takes away my abundant life that the Lord intended for me.
When I do put my worth in these trivial matters, I can do one of two things, depending on my mood:
1. Pump myself up with arrogance thinking I'm better than everyone else. Sin.
2. See where I fall short and think that I suck as a wife, business owner, friend, blogger, employee, person. Lies.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. ((psalm 139:14))
I will instead fight daily to find my worth in the following:
My unwavering faith in Christ.
My unstaggering devotion to my husband, so that our marriage would be an example of Christ's love to the world.
My consistent pursuit of living out the Gospel, so that the Lord might use me to win the hearts of the people in Boulder.
My unyielding love of Jesus. ((The Jesus that pursues me, forgives me, loves me, paid for my sins, and fights for my devotion))
His will for my life. EVERY aspect of my life, not just the parts I'm "willing" to hand over.
Friends, don't let your worth come from silly, worldly, trivial things. It will only lead you down a path of destruction and a lack of contentment. Who wants that?
Today, I choose joy. Today, I choose life abundant.
Who's with me?