Recently, I took a trip to Texas to get away and think, pray, and seek the Lord's will in several matters that were on my heart. I know myself well, but often times I try to hide the ugly, the selfish motives, and cover it up with excuses. My prayer for my few days away was that the Lord would give me clear direction about how I spend my time. ((being a wife, work, teaching sewing lessons on the side, discipling, serving in different capacities at The Well, living in community, this blog, my shop, etc.)) I felt overwhelmed, spread too thin, and unsure that what I was seeking and expending my energy on was even what God had for me. As I prayed and pondered and took some time to just sit and be with the Lord, I felt confident that anything that isn't missional and intentional needed to go. Things that had become burdens that I put on myself can't be a priority any longer.
When I read this verse, I felt sick at my stomach...not from guilt but of conviction. A conviction I couldn't shake.
For all that is in the world -- the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life -- is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever. ((1 john 2:16-17))
I've seen so much ugly in my heart when I try to become well known, gain more followers, yearn for sales, and find my worth in it when that happens. My worth and identity HAS to come from the Lord and not my selfish motives or desires or my shop or my follower count or my paypal account balance.
With all of this said, I will be closing the doors of my online shop. When I receive orders, they have become a burden. Trying to find time to sit at my sewing machine to sew dresses or
burn myself with use my glue gun for some rosettes is tough when my schedule is so hectic and constantly full. I find so much more joy in being generous with my designs, allowing you guys to follow along to a tutorial. Handmade Monday will be jam packed with some fun tutorials that I've tried to hold off on because I was considering selling those designs. Money had become a desire my heart was resting in, not a bonus from doing what I love.
As much as I've loved this journey of selling online, I just can't do it anymore. I love creating new products and dreaming up photo shoots & marketing plans...but I just can't do it all anymore. Even just 5 orders backed up takes an entire day to cut, sew, package, and ship...which is usually a day off from my real job that I LOVE. If anything, I will be trying to go the wholesale route every now & then when creativity sparks in hopes of building more relationships with business owners in Boulder and using up my INSANE fabric stash ;)
I will also hopefully be working towards making this whole India thing a reality...which is another post for another day. Long story short: a non-profit partnership will possibly be coming to fruition sooner than later where we will be employing & outsourcing my sewing to unemployed Indian widows in need of income. They will earn a fair wage and I will have more sanity & possibly not go blind from late nights sewing hundreds of coffee cuffs and bridesmaid dresses.
SO... in the next few days you will have a chance to purchase some of my inventory that I've had saved up for miscellaneous craft shows, gifts, etc. They are being sold at killer prices that kind of stings, but there is so much peace in getting it all out of my closet. Just like those furniture store commercials - everything must go, my friends!