Wednesday, February 20, 2013

rest


This week has been so jam-packed that I went to bad last night thinking that today would be Thursday. Our Missional Community meets at our place on Tuesdays so the fact that they were in our home should have helped regulate my crazy brain but it didn't. 

My to-do list yesterday was insane and I was wiped - compleeeetely wiped - by 3 pm and a Dr. Pepper + Ellen Break didn't even spark more energy. Yet, I powered through and cleaned the entire house from 4-6ish ((homegirl even dusted the baseboards on the stairs)) and prepped the kitchen/some food for the meal we'd share with our MC. I got to the point at about 5:30 that I was so tired that all I wanted to do was sleep, but all I could do was tear up. It was kind of pathetic.

Thankfully, my heart wasn't in it's occasional Martha state, I was just exhausted in every use of the word. 

I went to bed around 10:30 pm and woke up about every 15 minutes until midnight. I slept until 2 am, woke up to pee ((we're at about 3 times a night these days haha)) and then even though I was so tired, I was wide awake from then on. I was tossing and turning and since Chase had to wake up early and commute to Denver to head to seminary this morning... I decided to go downstairs and lay on the sofa. I just laid there, praying, and thinking and wondering why the cuss I couldn't fall back asleep. 

Anywho, needless to say, when I got up out of bed this morning I felt that exhaustion ten-fold and my head was pounding. All I could do was grab my phone and go straight to my Bible Ap//She Reads Truth reading for the morning. I needed the Word. I craved it. He was the only thing that was going to get me through today ((I'm somehow not always aware of that))...and maybe He'd use some caffeine to help along the way ;)

The passage and devotional I read this morning wasn't about being tired or working hard. It wasn't relevant to this story at all, actually...but I'm just in this place of desperation for the Lord and this gal likes to be self-sufficient and do things on her own so it's a welcomed change. ;)

I am not naive enough to not be aware that being this super tired thing & lack of sleep situation is just the beginning of motherhood. I know I have many uncomfortable & restless nights ahead of me. I just see my heart changing from trying to accomplish things on my own accord & depending on myself towards leaning on Him more and needing His word like water. It's been a while since that has been the case and I'm so thankful that the Lord is meeting me where I'm at.

Two verses came to mind as I typed out all of this nonsense & I simply want to encourage you with them.

On God rests my salvation and my glory; my mighty rock, my refuge is God.
Psalm 62:7

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Matthew 11:28


I'm praying that if you're having the same kind of week as me that you would find your refuge in God. Your to-do list will inevitably not get completely scratched off and your day will, of course, not go completely as planned. You might even have to reheat your coffee an obscure number of times before you get to finish it. 

It's okay. Breathe. Seek His face. Run to Him. Lay your burdens and stresses down. He will give you rest.

love.

15 comments:

  1. Kim I wish you rest~ Yes, this is just the beginning lol But you will see that He will equip you beyond all you can imagine. It's amazing how strong we become, and how little sleep we can operate on, all for the sake of the miracle He's entrusted to us.

    If I may share a story: Matt 11:28 is so, so special to me.
    We were in Korea in 2011 visiting my in-laws, and my anxiety was, understandably, through the roof. New culture, new customs, new everything. We boarded the city train, packed with people, and the only open seat left me staring at a wall wearing a poster with an advertisement for an English-speaking church... and Matt 11:28 was written out in full. It blessed me; He was there :) Everytime I see this verse it reminds me that He is with us, and we are strongest just when we think we can go no further.

    Happy Day to you and baby-to-be <3

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  2. YES. same page, completely! I wrote my post last week to meet a deadline and it was really the only thing I could eek out. I was just plain fed up with life and everything on my plate.

    yo u're right, God is graciously preparing you for motherhood, and you are very wise to lean into Him now and just get used to staying there ;) I get myself convinced from time to time that I'm doing good and I can handle it all on my own, but I just can't and I was never meant to. praying for you, too, girl! xo

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  3. Oh, friend, I so needed to read this post today. Five days of battling the flu and Si wakes up every two hours at night. I was bawling on the phone with Chris last night that this is all just too much to handle right now. But maybe that's the point? That I CAN"T handle it all on my own and I NEED to just hand it to Jesus and let him carry us through. Thank you for the reminder (slash slap in the face) of where I need to be looking for my Rest.


    Praying for you through today! Take a nap! :)

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  4. I just started following your blog recently, and it is SO refreshing to read a blogger who is openly religious. I rely on my faith on a daily basis, and there's no way I can get through even the silly stresses in my life without recognizing the peace and strength God gives me. Thank you!

    cardigansandpassports.blogspot.com

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  5. I like your "why the cuss" statement and I love everything you wrote. Thanks for speaking truth friend.

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  6. Beautiful. Thank you. And hoping you get rest tonight. ;)

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  7. Needed to read this post and those verses today. I am craving his word and clinging to it each morning as I begin my day. Thank you, thank you, thank you for the reminder that I am not alone in my feelings!

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  8. This is just what I needed to read this evening! Thank you Kim!

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  9. Kim, Thanks so much...I have followed your blog for awhile now and your twitter/instagram. I love your sewing (I love to sew but am more beginner :), your cute little family (soon to be a lil larger :) but mostly I find your strength in your faith inspiring. I am new to having a blog and really the main reason I felt for sure I wanted to have one was because I wanted to be strong like you have here. I have a lot to learn when it comes to blogging, but I am simply loving sharing my faith. SO thank you Kim! And yes this week I feel the same....prayers for you and more sleep :)

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  10. Beautiful verse - beautiful reminder.
    Hope you had a great weekend!

    -Sheree
    The Hartungs Blog
    thehartungs.blogspot.ca

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  11. Thanks for the encouragement! :) What Bible devotion app do you use? :) Just curious. Not sure why I've never thought to get an app like that. Haha!

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    Replies
    1. i use the bible app from youversion and follow the she reads truth reading plans

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