Sometimes we tell ourselves lies. Okay, sometimes might be an understatement. As women, I feel that we tell ourselves lies ALL.THE.TIME. I know I do. I wish I wasn't so quick to believe the lies.
You know the ones:
I don't feel beautiful, so no one must see beauty when they look at me. I'm not pretty enough. I have to put cover up my uneven and broken out complexions before going out to run errands. I'm not as beautiful as my non-stretch-marked, perfectly sun-bleached hair, tan, young, evenly complected 21 year old self. I'm not successful enough in my business & personal endeavors. My blog doesn't grow as fast as hers, so I should just throw in the towel. I'm not living out the Gospel as well as I did in that one season of life so I might as well not even try to get in the Word because it's just a dark season. My clothes are last season or worse. I'm not busy enough. I'm too busy. My teeth aren't white enough. She probably doesn't like me so I won't ask her to coffee. My education level isn't high enough. My prayer life sucks, so God must be disappointed in me. My prayer life is great, but I'm not connecting with my husband on an intimate level. My prayer life is great, I'm connecting with my husband on an intimate level, but I'm lonely and distant from girl friends.
I'm just NOT good enough.
Well, let me tell you something, lady. You ARE good enough..and when we insist that we're not? We're basically telling our Creator that His creation is trash. Now, would you tell God that the mountains are trash? Nope. Would you tell your Heavenly Father that the warmer weather & green grass that Spring promises is trash? Nope. Would you tell the King of Kings that this life He's laid out for us must be some sort of mistake? Nope.
When we are weak, we are vulnerable. So much growth and beauty can come from that.
For a long time, "not being good enough" was a legitimate fear of mine. It caused anxiety in my life and resulted in occasional panic attacks. I talked a bit about that journey here. When the dishes were building up, I had a bazillion emails awaiting a response, and it was way past time to cook dinner - I felt like a failure. I tricked myself into thinking that Chase would think I wasn't a good ((enough)) wife. I convinced myself that when I hadn't been in the word for 7 days in a row, had a joyful heart when hosting Missional Community, or met up with other women every day in the past week that God would think I wasn't a good ((enough)) disciple, pastor's wife, friend, hostess and that I wasn't worthy of His calling.
Believing that you are not good enough is a lie from the pit of Hell that Satan wants to use as a chain to immobilize you.
It can ruin your ministry.
It can harm your marriage.
It can run your business into the ground.
It can destroy your friendships.
It can skew the way you view yourself and your self-worth.
It can effect the way you parent & raise your kids.
It's a chain that is tough to break out of on your own, friend.
One of my favorite Donald Miller quotes is this:
“Fear is a manipulative emotion that can trick us into living a boring life.”
When I fear not being good enough, I am NOT living life to the full. I am not living the life abundant that God has promised me as a child of His in John 10:10.
I'm starting to find the beauty in the random gray hairs I spot. On good days, I'm seeing the beauty in the new stretch marks on the sides of my baby bump. I'm realizing that it's okay to have seasons of introvertedness ((I'm not positive that's a word)) and also days of needing to be around people. I'm realizing that my quirks & flaws ((emphasis on reading that as flaws, not sin)) are a part of who I am and who He has created me to be. I'm starting to see that in my weakness, He is strong.
I'm beginning to catch a glimpse of how God might see me.
His. Wonderful. Creation.
I'm His wonderful creation that He delights in. That blows my mind, but in a moment of clarity & unfathomable grace, I'm able to see that this body I reside in and the life I'm living is a reflection of Him and His Loving Kindness. When I believe the lies, I'm rejecting the truth & reality that He considers me worthy of taking another breath, worthy of raising this sweet little boy in my belly, worthy of worshipping the Lord & seeing His gifts of beauty in my everyday, worthy of growing alongside Chase physically, spiritually, emotionally and serving him daily as I grow into the role(s) of wife/mother/friend/disciple of Jesus.
I just put this print in the nursery because I know that I want to instill that into our Little One. I also want to be reminded of it every time I go in to get him up from a nap, change his diaper, or feed him. I love the second part of that verse, too.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
Spot the lies you are believing about yourself. Call them out. Speak truth to yourself and to others in your life. Live in grace. We are good enough, but we don't for a second have it all together...nor does that truth allow us to sit and make excuses. There's so much beauty in that, y'all. There's room for growth. There's room for mistakes. There's room for repentance & admitting we're wrong. There's room for SO much grace.
two great reads ((that encouraged me greatly)) that are definitely written for a specific audience but can easily be applicable to any walk or season of life: