Tuesday, March 19, 2013

on being good enough


Sometimes we tell ourselves lies. Okay, sometimes might be an understatement. As women, I feel that we tell ourselves lies ALL.THE.TIME. I know I do. I wish I wasn't so quick to believe the lies. 

You know the ones:
I don't feel beautiful, so no one must see beauty when they look at me. I'm not pretty enough. I have to put cover up my uneven and broken out complexions before going out to run errands. I'm not as beautiful as my non-stretch-marked, perfectly sun-bleached hair, tan, young, evenly complected 21 year old self. I'm not successful enough in my business &  personal endeavors. My blog doesn't grow as fast as hers, so I should just throw in the towel.  I'm not living out the Gospel as well as I did in that one season of life so I might as well not even try to get in the Word because it's just a dark season. My clothes are last season or worse. I'm not busy enough. I'm too busy. My teeth aren't white enough. She probably doesn't like me so I won't ask her to coffee. My education level isn't high enough. My prayer life sucks, so God must be disappointed in me. My prayer life is great, but I'm  not connecting with my husband on an intimate level. My prayer life  is great, I'm connecting with my husband on an intimate level, but I'm lonely and distant from girl friends. 
I'm just NOT good enough. 

Well, let me tell you something, lady. You ARE good enough..and when we insist that we're not? We're basically telling our Creator that His creation is trash. Now, would you tell God that the mountains are trash? Nope. Would you tell your Heavenly Father that the warmer weather & green grass that Spring promises is trash? Nope. Would you tell the King of Kings that this life He's laid out for us must be some sort of mistake? Nope.
When we are weak, we are vulnerable. So much growth and beauty can come from that.


For a long time, "not being good enough" was a legitimate fear of mine. It caused anxiety in my life and resulted in occasional panic attacks. I talked a bit about that journey here. When the dishes were building up, I had a bazillion emails awaiting a response, and it was way past time to cook dinner - I felt like a failure. I tricked myself into thinking that Chase would think I wasn't a good ((enough)) wife. I convinced myself that when I hadn't been in the word for 7 days in a row, had a joyful heart when hosting Missional Community, or met up with other women every day in the past week that God would think I wasn't a good  ((enough)) disciple, pastor's wife, friend, hostess and that I wasn't worthy of His calling

Believing that you are not good enough is a lie from the pit of Hell that Satan wants to use as a chain to immobilize you. 
It can ruin your ministry. 
It can harm your marriage.
It can run your business into the ground.
 It can destroy your friendships.
It can skew the way you view yourself and your self-worth.
It can effect the way you parent & raise your kids.

It's a chain that is tough to break out of on your own, friend.




One of my favorite Donald Miller quotes is this:
“Fear is a manipulative emotion that can trick us into living a boring life.” 

When I fear not being good enough, I am NOT living life to the full. I am not living the life abundant that God has promised me as a child of His in John 10:10

I'm starting to find the beauty in the random gray hairs I spot. On good days, I'm seeing the beauty in the new stretch marks on the sides of my baby bump. I'm realizing that it's okay to have seasons of introvertedness ((I'm not positive that's a word)) and also days of needing to be around people. I'm realizing that my quirks & flaws ((emphasis on reading that as flaws, not sin)) are a part of who I am and who He has created me to be.  I'm starting to see that in my weakness, He is strong. 

I'm beginning to catch a glimpse of how God might see me. 
His. Wonderful. Creation

I'm His wonderful creation that He delights in. That blows my mind, but in a moment of clarity & unfathomable grace, I'm able to see that this body I reside in and the life I'm living is a reflection of Him and His Loving Kindness. When I believe the lies, I'm rejecting the truth & reality that He considers me worthy of taking another breath, worthy of raising this sweet little boy in my belly, worthy of worshipping the Lord & seeing His gifts of beauty in my everyday, worthy of growing alongside Chase physically, spiritually, emotionally and serving him daily as I grow into the role(s) of wife/mother/friend/disciple of Jesus. 

I just put this print in the nursery because I know that I want to instill that into our Little One. I also want to be reminded of it every time I go in to get him up from a nap, change his diaper, or feed him. I love the second part of that verse, too. 

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 
Psalm 139:14

Spot the lies you are believing about yourself. Call them out. Speak truth to yourself and to others in your life. Live in grace. We are good enough, but we don't for a second have it all together...nor does that truth allow us to sit and make excuses. There's so much beauty in that, y'all. There's room for growth. There's room for mistakes. There's room for repentance & admitting we're wrong. There's room for SO much grace.


love.

two great reads ((that encouraged me greatly)) that are definitely written for a specific audience but can easily be applicable to any walk or season of life:


35 comments:

  1. Great post, very uplifting and encouraging. pregnant or not. wife or not. mother or not. Very beautiful piece of writing! :) Thank you!

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  2. kim,

    thank you for posting this! it's such an encouragement in this season of life i'm currently in. and to know it's only temporary and that the lord is in control - makes this encouragement all the better!

    thanks again :)

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  3. Oh yes...I can SO relate to this...Panic attacks and all. You are so right--He has really been impressing this on me lately...and it is so inspiring to read others stories of breaking free from the lies. Thank you.

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  4. Great post!! I could relate on many levels, and I love that Donald Miller quote. Thanks for the lovely reminder!

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  5. Amazing post, girl! and that Donald Miller quote is the encouragement I needed! Thanks for sharing!

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  6. Judt what I needed today! Thank you for sharing

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  8. I really needed this today, Kim. Thank you. I've been struggling with figuring out what "good enough" means for me in my current season as my husband and I are about to embark on a big change in our lives. I hope I can handle it all with as much grace as you have.

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  9. A great post. Thanks for the reminder.

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  10. This is beautiful. Such truth, such encouragement

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  11. I so needed to hear this. I've been dealing with this for the past few days & yesterday I broke down into tears because of it. Thank you for allowing God to use you through this blog of yours, sweet lady :)

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  12. Yes, yes, yes! Thank you for writing this! I just started reading Holley Gerth's book You are Amazing (I think that's the title!) and I just read the section on being enough. Thank you for restating this with your words. What a wonderful reminder that we are enough and beautiful in His eyes at all times. We are so blessed to have such a loving, forgiving, and caring God!

    p.s. Loved that Donald Miller quote. Is that from one of his books? I've heard so much about them but haven't had a chance to read them yet! :)

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  13. Beautiful post. Whenever I start to feel anxious about my shortcomings or fearful I remember that FEAR is simply an acronym for False Expectations Appearing Real. Women have some strange, over-the-top expectations of themselves...really the only way to be happy is to be yourself and allows the Lord's grace to cover the rest.
    Thanks for posting this, I know many women need to read more posts like this and less about worldly stuff.

    xoxo
    Jamey

    wearesimplyanimated.com

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  14. "My grace is sufficient for you..." How hard to remember sometimes, but so so important. Thank you for your beautiful, inspiring words!

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  15. Such a powerful and encouraging post. I think all women should read this. Well done, Kim.

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  16. Thanks Kim. I was blessed by the encouragement this morning!

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  17. love, love this. definitely needed to hear. thanks for sharing & being open.

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  18. This is beautiful & just what I needed today. Thank gou so much.

    www.gratefulwithtwo.com

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  19. i just wrote a post last night kind of about this - about second guessing things that I do and worrying about how people perceive me. I am working on being confident in me and who God made me! Thank you for this reminder!!

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  20. Good stuff. I printed this post out for future reminders.

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  21. I came to check out the Tethered Crate post again...however I saw this post and had to stop to read. This is exactly what I needed! Thank you so much Kim!

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  22. good post girl. we all need to hear this stuff. i need to hear it in this stage with my kids & learning how to be a better mom every day. lies can deafen me.

    also: thanks. ;)

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  23. best post I've read all day. I love your boldness to share the truth of Jesus!

    jorie

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  24. First, thank you so much :). And I honestly think I need to print this post off and carry it around with me everyday. You touched on so many lies women, especially mothers and business owners, face daily. Such a transparently beautiful post.

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  25. Love this. Thank you. I need to remind myself of this daily...I think we all do!

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  26. i LOVE LOVE LOVE this post!
    Thank you so much for sharing your heart on this topic!
    God has really been rearranging my thoughts on the topic of not feeling good enough, especially lately-- and so much of what you said here really blessed me!
    Love this! Definitely sharing it!
    And that Bible verse is one of my favorites!

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  27. Great post! Love it!
    I needed to hear this! Thank you! :)

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  28. I really needed to read this. I had been the exact same feelings you wrote about and in a way its a blessing to know I'm not alone.

    Thank you for this. I will be reading this post over and over. Thank you.

    Allison

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  29. Love that song! Jesus Culture is great (assuming this refers to the song haha)

    Tiff Ima
    Style Honestly

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