Tuesday, June 4, 2013

friendship, performance, and an uno de junio fiesta

Because we had a two week old when our second annual Cinco de Mayo party rolled around, we decided we would have some friends over for Uno de Junio instead. Really...it was just an excuse to make Mexican food, my favorite sangria and enjoy our friends. 
I didn't do an ounce of prep until about noon. Needless to say, with an infant and frequent nursing sessions...when 6:30 rolled around nothing was set up ((the house was clean, food was mostly done or on its way and the sangria was ready but that's it)), I was upstairs feeding Knox with wet hair and no makeup. I needed to change, as well, because I had gotten cream cheese, cinnamon, club soda, and fruit juice all over me from speedily working in the kitchen. I could have easily freeeeaked out and had a melt down. I did cuss when the club soda spewed all over me...but I went upstairs to feed Knox and texted my girls to prepare them for the scene that awaited them. I took a deep breath and gave Chase a list of things people could do to help once they arrived. 

That was ridiculously hard for me to do. 

Asking for help isn't my forte.  Allowing people to help and not feeling bad about it once I ask for said help is even harder, somehow. 

I walked downstairs and the burrito bar was set up, margaritas were being blended, beers were being chilled and my community was stepping in to help me when I needed it...just as community is supposed to do. We had such a great time of fellowship and it was waaaaay more chill than last year's cinco party. 

Now then, it's about 9:30 and time for Knox to eat again. I head into the nursery to feed him and I hear noises of dishes being cleaned, things being picked up, friends helping clean up the party they set up to begin with. I texted my friend, Rebekah (she's the one who is incredibly hilarious and snarky on my instagram photos), and told her that I felt like a terrible hostess. She texted me back something along the lines of, "this is about friendship, not performance." It was so hard for me to sit back helplessly as people cleaned up my house from a party. Knox nursed for an entire hour, so God definitely did this on purpose ;) He wanted me to learn that it is a joy for friends and community to serve each other. It should be a joy for me to allow them to do so.


I didn't take a single photo with my dslr. I didn't stage the burrito bar, I just let it be. I didn't style the beverages, I just let them chill in the bucket with ice. I didn't arrange the cactus margarita classes with straws that had little sayings on them. I didn't put the tortilla chips in a sombrero. I didn't even take a photo with anyone or of our friends (oops). I didn't put cutesy labels on all the beverage choices. I didn't even get a chalkboard out to write a cheesy Spanish greeting. 

(( and yet ))

The party was still a blast. People still had fun. We savored yummy food. We drank margaritas & sangria & Mexican beer. The boys played cornhole at the park. The ladies held their babies or anticipated the ones they have on the way. We ate too much sopapilla cheesecake. We enjoyed each other. At the end of the day, that's what matters, right? 




So...with all that said. I learned two things from our Uno de Junio party.
1. Let my friends help me. They aren't expecting me to perform like I am expecting myself to.
((I ended that sentence with a preposition. Ignore it.))
2. Things don't have to be "bloggable." The memories are more important than styled photos.

20 comments:

  1. I think this is such an important lesson we learn in growing up - and especially in this blogging world. That not everything has to be "pretty" or perfect. And somehow... we all still have the best time, and maybe an even better time because we aren't so caught up in constructing blog posts in our head.

    It's amazing how friends come together when you need them to... and how strong our communities really are.

    Your photos do, however, have me craving mexican food now!

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  2. Well said. Everything looks prefect and sounds so enjoyable dispite your list of 'things that did not get done'. It's amazing how much more difficult we make LIFE when we think it has to be a display or performance. When we just sit back and enjoy, it sure is a lot more fun. And a lot LESS stress! Good job girl! Party looks wonderful! Food sound DELISH! Frienship was a blessing! SUCCESS!!!

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  3. "The memories are more important than styled photos." Love that. I had a tough time at my son's first birthday party and even felt a little freaked when people dove into the food before I had time to photograph it. Sometimes we have to take a step back and just chill out. Memories are the most important. Great post!

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  4. So fun! I wish we had more friends were we live and could host more get togethers!

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  5. i am working on this. it's getting hard and sometimes i feel like the bottom drops out. thank you for your wise words.

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  7. I'm so glad that we all get to learn this together! Love you!

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  8. "This is friendship, not a performance"–what an incredible thing to say. And memories and margaritas are so much better than a perfectly curated pile of Instagram photos.

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  9. this is perfect. & I so needed this. & amen.

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  10. Sounds like you have a pretty great friend! Thanks for the reality check. I'm going to need some of these lessons tomorrow!

    Tasteful Texan


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  11. Looks like so much fun! I also love how you too collect yellow and turquoise pyrex!

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  12. This was so sweet. I also have a really hard time asking for help. It's hard to let go of control, and the desire for perfection. Or at least, a good blog photos. Your friends sound amazing :)

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  13. Word up sister.
    I don't even know if people say that anymore but I just did cause I totally agree with this.
    Especially-- things don't always have to be bloggable (or instagrammed, or facebooked) Just LIVED and enjoyed. Without worrying about the performance. Amen.

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  14. this is such an amazing post. it's something i need to work on.

    Rebecca @ tr[i]b[e]cca

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  15. Such an awesome thing for God to be teaching you right now. I'm learning the same.

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  16. What a great lesson to learn. It's so frustrating when something isn't pretty, but then I think how stupid to have a negative emotion instead of just enjoying the thing I've made/whatever.

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  17. and we all say amen. :) thanks for the reminder. looks like a lovely party, and maybe i'll throw a uno de julio party this year. :)

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  18. I loved this post Kim! It was very well said! I let a lot go when Mason was born too. I think we put too much pressure on ourselves but in the end, the memories made and time spent with friends and family is really all that matters... not the decor. Sounds like you have an awesome community of friends! Something we all strive for I think :)

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  19. I loved this post Kim! It was very well said! I let a lot go when Mason was born too. I think we put too much pressure on ourselves but in the end, the memories made and time spent with friends and family is really all that matters... not the decor. Sounds like you have an awesome community of friends! Something we all strive for I think :)

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