And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Colossians 3:15
Being thankful isn't usually something that is difficult to me. I can be a cynic, but I am generally a positive person. Growing up, I was raised to say "please" and "thank you," so from an early age I knew how to be grateful and show that. A thank you note, a hug, saying a simple "thanks" is all it takes and goes a long way.
Last week I was fighting discontentment constantly, it seemed. Actually, I wasn't fighting it - it was crippling me and I threw quite a few pity parties. I would watch HGTV and be frustrated with God that we can't afford a home. I would check instagram to see friends skiing and be jealous - and I don't even really like skiing. I would check my stats to update a potential sponsor and be frustrated that my blog hasn't seen much growth, pageview-wise, the past few months. I woke up with mastitis and an incredibly cranky baby with a cold. I had a clumsy moment and bumped an entire container of baby food green beans onto the freshly vacuumed carpet - I was angry, all of a sudden, that we didn't have hardwood floors. Sales weren't as high as I would have liked them to be.
Circumstances weren't ideal, but I had to make a decision last week to be thankful. I don't like the whole, "things could be worse" mentality..instead I'd like to just count my blessings and make it a habit of doing it more often.
Instead of being embarrassed that we don't have a house with lots of room or even enough matching chairs to seat everyone - I'm just thankful that my family is coming from Texas and I get to spend the holiday eating delicious food with people I love.
Instead of being bummed that my sales were lower than anticipated, that I didn't meet my sales goals, or that my pageviews have gone down, I'm just thankful that my "job" allows me to stay home with Knox and that the Lord has blessed me with a successful business.
Instead of being exasperated that Knox was sick, I'm just thankful it was simply a cold and that he wanted to cuddle more than normal.
Instead of letting the fact that we had an argument before date night ruin the evening, I'm just thankful that I have a husband who loves me, who still brings me flowers, and who will work through the junk with me.
Instead of being bummed that we may never own a home or ever have 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms plus a studio while we are in Boulder, I'm just thankful that we are listening to the Lord and being obedient in His call for us to be a part of The Well.
Instead of beating myself up for being discontent in the first place, I'm just thankful for a God with a scandalous amount of grace who is teaching me to have grace with myself.
I'm just thankful.
Luke 16:10 has been on my heart since early September. "One who is faithful in very little is also faithful in much."
If I am not faithful to be thankful and generous in the little things, the little moments, the little budgets... then how will I learn to be faithful if/when the Lord decides to bless us with "much?" The reality is that He has blessed me with much. It's not as "much" financially per se, but when I consider our overall health, the beautiful place in which we live, the amount of love in our home, the gift of salvation, and the fact that we've never had to go without a meal -- He has definitely blessed us with much.
I'll choose to be incredibly thankful for that.