Monday, November 25, 2013

on being thankful





And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Colossians 3:15

Being thankful isn't usually something that is difficult to me. I can be a cynic, but I am generally a positive person. Growing up, I was raised to say "please" and "thank you," so from an early age I knew how to be grateful and show that. A thank you note, a hug, saying a simple "thanks" is all it takes and goes a long way.

Last week I was fighting discontentment constantly, it seemed. Actually, I wasn't fighting it - it was crippling me and I threw quite a few pity parties. I would watch HGTV and be frustrated with God that we can't afford a home. I would check instagram to see friends skiing and be jealous - and I don't even really like skiing. I would check my stats to update a potential sponsor and be frustrated that my blog hasn't seen much growth, pageview-wise, the past few months. I woke up with mastitis and an incredibly cranky baby with a cold. I had a clumsy moment and bumped an entire container of baby food green beans onto the freshly vacuumed carpet - I was angry, all of a sudden, that we didn't have hardwood floors. Sales weren't as high as I would have liked them to be. 

Circumstances weren't ideal, but I had to make a decision last week to be thankful. I don't like the whole, "things could be worse" mentality..instead I'd like to just count my blessings and make it a habit of doing it more often. 

Instead of being embarrassed that we don't have a house with lots of room or even enough matching chairs to seat everyone - I'm just thankful that my family is coming from Texas and I get to spend the holiday eating delicious food with people I love.  

Instead of being bummed that my sales were lower than anticipated, that I didn't meet my sales goals, or  that my pageviews have gone down, I'm just thankful that my "job" allows me to stay home with Knox and that the Lord has blessed me with a successful business. 

Instead of being exasperated that Knox was sick, I'm just thankful it was simply a cold and that he wanted to cuddle more than normal.

Instead of letting the fact that we had an argument before date night ruin the evening, I'm just thankful that I have a husband who loves me, who still brings me flowers, and who will work through the junk with me. 

Instead of being bummed that we may never own a home or ever have 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms  plus a studio while we are in Boulder, I'm just thankful that we are listening to the Lord and being obedient in His call for us to be a part of The Well. 

Instead of beating myself up for being discontent in the first place, I'm just thankful for a God with a scandalous amount of grace who is teaching me to have grace with myself.

I'm just thankful. 

Luke 16:10 has been on my heart since early September. "One who is faithful in very little is also faithful in much."

If I am not faithful to be thankful and generous in the little things, the little moments, the little budgets... then how will I learn to be faithful if/when the Lord decides to bless us with "much?" The reality is that He has blessed me with much. It's not as "much" financially per se, but when I consider our overall health, the beautiful place in which we live, the amount of love in our home, the gift of salvation, and the fact that we've never had to go without a meal -- He has definitely blessed us with much. 

I'll choose to be incredibly thankful for that. 

love.

15 comments:

  1. This is so beautifully written. I relate to you so much! I've been thinking so much about being fortunate for the things we do have even when times are hard. It's so easy to see what everyone else has and feel bad about our lives. When in reality we are so blessed! Just look at our beautiful babies and loving husbands. That's all we need.

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  2. So many of us can relate to what you're feeling. After all, you were able to step back and see the light. And that's what matters.

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  3. Amen, sister. Wishing you a wonderful week of Thanksgiving!

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  4. Love this Kim! Love the way you wrote it out like that.. "instead of __, I'm thankful for ___." That's a good activity for kiddos too.. thankful for you! :) xo

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  5. Thanks for sharing your real emotions!! I was feeling much the same way yesterday after having a really successful Handmade Vintage Market and then turning around and having to take our 3 year old daughter to the ER for lodging a small Lego friends piece so far up her nose! Tried to be thankful that God provided to pay for the bills with what I made at the market, and that she is perfectly fine! Also been trying to stay content in our 2 bed 1 bath rental until we can save for a down payment on a house and rebuild our credit. Glad you are able to be thankful and look at your blessings...have a great Thanksgiving! :)

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  6. Kim, I wish we could hang out in real life because our small house, dirty carpet, page views, shop sales and finances are DAILY triggers for me. Taking to older, wiser women who didn't have all the shiny, sparkly things I feel somehow entitled to have taught me to see the things that matter in light of eternity and that's been helpful recently, but it's such a daily battle to not compare and judge.... to remember that He doesn't just give us good gifts. He give us the best gifts for us. We don't have what's second best for us, we have the very best. Fighting the battle to believe that with you and so glad you wrote this post.
    Dana at Happy Little Lovelies

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  7. i've been having a problem with being thankful recently as well. after learning that i have to stay an extra year in college i think i've just been being extra hard on myself. but i'll look at friend's posts about the presents their bf bought them or the nice things that happened and i'm jealous my bf doesn't call me beautiful every second or make a huge show of how much he cares. but then i look at all the little things he does, like pay for dinner, hold the door open, and gives me those little winks when he knows i'm nervous about something, and i think i just need to focus on the sweet things he does instead of the things he could be doing. thanks for the reminder. :)
    lauren
    http://1sweetfairytale.blogspot.com/

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  8. I relate so much to your post...right down to the chairs! lol I've been obsessing over our table and chair situation for the last month. But also like you, I am very thankful for everything. Even the things we may be "lacking" in certain areas. We are very happy and thankful! God Bless! Have a wonderful Thanksgiving. ;)

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  9. so with you. it's so easy for me to take things that I should be thankful for and not be.

    like my day job. it's the season that i'm in-- that i work there. and i am blessed to even HAVE A job. I'm blessed to be able to take the bus, even though I complain bitterly about it. I could go on and on. but i'm trying to cultivate thankfulness and God loves to do a number on my heart in this area because he knows where I am so deeply entrenched in sin.

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  10. I'm going to print out your post to show my husband later as we've both been falling into this cycle recently. Thank you so much, your words are exactly what I've been trying to articulate to myself! x

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  11. I am struggling with being thankful this Thanksgiving. I see the baby bumps and baby pics in IG, people getting ready for Thanksgiving and my husband left today and I won't be going home and all I want to do is cry and forget Thanksgiving. I have to remind myself there is still so much to be thankful for.

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  12. This just made me seriously verklempt. I've been going through such a similar situation and been disappointed in myself for not trying harder to be thankful in what I have now. So wonderfully written, Kim and I may only be one reader but I'm a loyal one. Keep your entries coming! I love me some pearls of Kim :)

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  13. Your honesty is wonderful and refreshing. Thank you for writing a post from the heart...so appreciated. I just started following you on Instagram and saw your green bean spill last week and loved that you posted real life...not just ideal life. So good for a fellow Mama in a similar season to see. :) We just moved recently to Durango, Colorado to start a church...a city with some similarities to Boulder...including high cost of living! So I can relate to your passion for The Well, and your making it work in a pricey town. Awesome to see what you guys are doing there; it's inspiring to us during this season. If you ever need a mini-getaway to Durango, we'd love to host you guys! I'm a photographer as well (www.gingermoosephotography.com) and I'd love to capture you and your sweet fam...so let me know if you guys ever need a little adventure to southwestern Colorado. Thanks again for your honest and encouraging post. A great word for the week.

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  14. PS....you totally rocked the lipstick today.

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  15. This is really encouraging, thanks Kim. My family of 3 (soon to be 4) is living with my parents until we can afford to move into an apartment. It's hard not to decorate for the holidays or feel like I am in my own space as a woman/wife/mom. I find myself wanting to complain, even just to myself. But this is a really good reminder to step back and see that God is REALLY blessing my family - with family who is taking care of us, a healthy pregnancy, and being together during the holidays. Thanks for the perspective.

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