Thursday, January 30, 2014

laying it down





This has been one of the hardest weeks. Knox woke up with the stomach flu earlier this week and although he hasn't had a fever since that first day, this whole week has been full of whimpers, snuggles (I'll take 'em! He NEVER cuddles with me!), sad faces, lots of loads of laundry, being thrown up on more times than I can count, and me just trying to get by. 

It's times like these that I'm glad I get to work from home. Running your own small business is freeing in that sense, but deadlines are still there, fabric still needs to be ordered, orders still have to get out, emails are still waiting for responses and lots of emails are resent with "did you get my email?" tweets and IG comments. 

I'm exhausted in every since of the word. That's simply because I'm, once again, doing everything in my own strength. Yesterday, as I was rocking Knox to sleep (for two hours, mind you) and praying for healing over his little lethargic body, I realized it was the first time I had prayed for him during his sickness. I had been shuffling towels and pj's into the laundry, I had been rocking and holding and spoon feeding pedialyte, I had been working like a crazy person during nap times. At the end of my rope, it was also the first time I had asked for help for myself. I needed comfort. I needed energy. I needed grace. I needed rest that could only be found in Him.

Don't get me wrong. After praying that, I didn't all of a sudden have birds singing around me folding the laundry and a pep in my step so that I could accomplish more, or even a completely different attitude. But, I was able to take a deep breath and make dinner with joy and perspective.  I was still tired, I'm still tired this morning. Being a mom is hard work…but I know that laying my burdens down, admitting that I can't do it on my own anymore, sipping my coffee slowly and taking one day at a time is all I can do at the moment. 

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”  ((matthew 11:28-30))

love.

9 comments:

  1. Such a great post. I'm praying Knox feels back to himself soon and that you both are able to get some much needed rest.

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  2. Being a mom is hard. And those moments when you catch yourself asking for help knowing you should have done so much sooner are also so difficult. But man, is it freeing when you've had the realization and God provides perspective. Praying Knox's health is fully restored quickly and you can get some needed rest!

    Thanks for the reminder to lay it down (it makes me want to blast Jennifer Knapp's song Lay It Down)!

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  3. Love this, Kim. Sometimes, God answers our prayers through a change in attitude, not a change in circumstance. Hope the babe is feeling better today! XO

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  4. I'll be praying for Knox and you.

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  5. You couldn't have said it better. I'm a new mom and am realizing that God is always there, it is just easy to forget that and rely on our own strength.

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  6. Thank you, Kim! Sometimes we just need those little "hugs" to remind us that we are not alone. God is just so wonderful! Prayers for baby Knox and for you!

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  7. I needed to read this. Kenley's transition to a big girl bed is NOT going well, and for two weeks I have felt like a failure. The kids aren't listening and I can't get my point across. I am to the point of yelling, and I don't want that. *sigh* It is too easy to rely on our own strengths, but I DO need to make a better habit of letting God handle my burdens. Hope Knox is on the mend soon and that you can get some rest!

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